LAUREL - There is an unspoken rule in middle school: You hang out only with people in your own group.
The problem with that small-group unity is that it can lead to large-scale divisiveness as one clique judges another. Then judgment can bloom into bullying and hate.
Laurel Middle School students took on those issues Friday morning in an assembly with filmmakers Patrice O'Neill and Rhian Miller.
The women are in the area to join the Not In Our Town weekend of events leading up to Martin Luther King Jr. Day on Monday.
O'Neill and Miller have created three documentaries beginning with "Not in our Town," which chronicled hate violence against a Jewish family in Billings and the town's response.
Friday, they brought the "Not In Our School" movement to Laurel Middle School, where eighth-graders next week will be able to sign pledges against intolerance, including racism and bigotry.
"We're really here to learn from you," O'Neill said. "The power of 'Not in our Town,' I think, is telling a story that starts a conversation."
A lot of prejudice is based in ignorance, Miller said, quoting a girl in one of the films. While intolerance is not OK, curiosity about others' religions, orientations and cultures is acceptable. "It's OK to wonder about things you're not familiar with," Miller said.
One of the messages a group of eighth-graders delivered in a program at the assembly was to not judge others based on labels.
The labels were abrasive to adult ears, but the kids said they are words heard daily in middle school halls: Skank, thug, preppie, stoner, freak goody-goody, skater, retard, white trash, fag, player, nerd, jock. "They are used so much you might not even think twice about using them," according to the program.
Here are some of the steps the program suggested students take to mobilize Not In Our School:
• Say and believe "Not in our school."
• Smile and say hello to someone new every day, and mean it.
• Once a week eat with a different group of people.
• Expand your social circle. That includes outside of school in neighborhoods, places of worship and at activities.
• Serve as a leader. This is a "normal person" but one who makes plans and organizes activities.
• Be a floater. This is the opposite of a labeler and someone who moves among different groups and gets to know people for who they are.
• Take a stand against labeling and hate. Don't let people get away with this unacceptable behavior.
• Report harassment, bullying and hate.
• Support those who stand up against these behaviors.
• Promote unity and tolerance in school.
Student Kodi Barnes said some people like to be identified by their style of dress and persona. "What if you want to be an emo?" she said, referring to the slang for an emotional person. Barnes' point was that it's OK to be unique.
"Raise your hand if you want to be known for you," she said and drew a response from most of her classmates.
Michaela Shifley said that even though teens laugh at the difficult conversation of standing up to name-calling, it's hard to do.
"In any other circumstances, I probably wouldn't be brave enough to get up and say something," she said.
It's human nature to judge, but that doesn't make it right, she said. "I think we should do everything in our power to change that because it's wrong," she said.
Teacher Amy Caldeira said she was labeled a jock in high school. That was cool at the time, she said, but it was a name for what she did, not who she was or is.
"You are more than what that one word is," she said.
Student Cody Nelson said he has been made fun of and admitted to making fun of others, but it's not fun.
"You do it to make yourself feel better and you do for a minute," he said. "Then you realize how wrong you are."
Comments that are submitted go into a queue to be moderated and may take several hours to be reviewed. By submitting a comment, you are agreeing to the terms & conditions set out in our comment policy. The comments below are from readers of billingsgazette.com and in no way represent the views of The Billings Gazette or Lee Enterprises.
This stuff is always so good for PR but in the REAL world,it's so much fluff. I admit to being a real cynic with this kind of 'stuff' anymore. If all these neat little programs worked, with all that have been introduced over the last 25 yrs.,we would no longer have bullies,violence in schools, need "resource" officers, or be putting forth more 'steps' and 'pledges'.
Laughter: Activities such as these do not work because individuals create personal vision for them not to work. When one person decides to go outside their comfort zone, even one time, then it does work. It's that simple. I have a question for you: When you refer to "all these neat little programs," to what are you referring? I'd be very interested in knowing. Really. Making this work takes energy and entails nothing short of an environmental change; the kind of change only small groups of very good people have made. It's kind of like changing tires on a vehicle that's going 60 miles per hour, though, but it is fun and rewarding. Let's support this. I will.
Laughter, you need to get out more. Many (yourself included) think it's just easier to go about putting lables on people, because it doesn't require them to think. It's so much easier to just label and name call, because that way, you don't actually have to talk to and get to know people. I prefer to try and get to know actual people, talk to them and get to know them beyond what their appearance might be. Which is why I'm lucky to count a lot of people of different ethnic, religious and social upbringings as friends. These sort of programs, while they may be difficult for some to swallow, plant the seeds of understanding one another. If just ONE child is influenced, then maybe that will be the one person who can bring about change in the world. It's not fluff, it's the future, and it's change. Don't knock it. These are the kids who will be running the country someday.
School children will not give up their cliques, ever. It's just the way it is. Once you get out of school, however, you find out how stupid it was and get to know all kinds of people for who they are. Yes, the racism needs to be stopped and punished, but labels like "stoner" and "jock" are not harmful at all and it's silly for these film makers to call it "hate." Now there's a word that gets thrown around too much.
As parents and adults we need to help our kids to understand that the way we treat others and/or talk about others, is the way that others tend to see us. After reading many of the posts on this site, it is no wounder that our kids have problems getting along with others. There are so many negative and/or closed minded people that visit this site. (or those just looking to antagonize others). Any program that helps others to get along is well worth the effort.
If more parents taught their children patience, tolerance and acceptance, at home, and those children became parents, and taught their children....My grandfather was in the KKK BUT his daughter, my mother taught us how wrong his thinking was. She knew , in her heart and was embarrassed by his behavior and activities. SHE(and my father) taught us differently. IT can be done .But it begins in the home.
it all starts at the goodoleboys club, they have their unwritten set of laws that pertain only to them and their hotshot, know it all, better than everyone else attitude and is instilled into their spoiled brats, they don't and never will accept that we are all created equal! you'll find the most serious case of goodoleboyclubizm right here in river city/yellowstone county!!
THINK:Well now, I gotta admit I didn't sit down over the years and write the names of all sensitivity programs that have been introduced to our kids through out the years especially starting in the '80's, but we've seen our kids and grandkids come home with the 'stuff' on them..we've read them and read about them in books,periodicals of every stripe, in venues such as today's article; we've been sent to them in the workplace, we've listened about them in conferences for every imaginable subject in the world...there is a thriving industry in this country attempting to make our kids and adults more 'sensitive'. And to use your own moniker "THINK",...think...if they worked we'd no longer need them. You can write all the programs you want...but first and foremost they tend to ignore the biggest obstacle to all this sensitivity...pure unadulterated HUMAN NATURE. Address that one honestly when you write all your programs and you might just have a start at success. GRAND DUCHESS A: You 'label' and 'name-call', accuse and attack; judge harshly and narrowly when you so desire so you're no different than any other 'kettle'. Yes,the young will be one day which should make you smile and scare the holy he** out of you too. You know Grand,it takes no thought whatsoever to pretend it's all Oz...but it isn't and though in some areas it's getting maybe better...in REALITY in others it's getting worse. And what nonsense and shallowness to intimate myself or anyone else who doesn't agree with you isn't out meeting people...some of us have had careers that dealt with nothing BUT PEOPLE and taught us that playing 'pretend' is just that...playing pretend....and someone has to act like an adult and take care of the problems REALISTICALLY. I hate to rip the blinders off ya Grand lady, but for all the nice people out there you're meeting(and more power to ya), there are nightmares outside your door just waiting for the right time. THE SAINT,BOBF, and CYNTHIA have each hit the nail on the head pretty darn honestly and CYNTHIA REALLY hit it (change starts at the bottom up when you're talking moral/attitude change...IN THE HOME)...your self-aggrandizing lecture to me has nothing to do with making these kids more 'sensitive'...if you like this program send in your check and support them. It'll go further in helping the film makers pass their 'message' along than your berating lip-service to me will.
Ahhh, "laughter", if we could just somehow put the bigots and racist on one island, then it would be a REAL World for just normal people....LMAO!!!!!! I would challenge you to confront bullies, bigots, racists, etc. head on!!! You seem like the kind of person who has the spirit noit tolerate "hate". Go for it!!!!!!!
Just like to point out, again, that this Not in Our Town PR started after a news story that did not identify the victim as "one of our Jewish neighbors", but as "a prominent local physician". The story of the mixed race couple whose South Side home was vandalized with racial grafitti a week before the offense against the 'elite', recieved no such attention, did it?
Laughter, pick on someone who cares. I'm not denying that Cynthia's point was excellent. It is. However ... YOU were the one making the snide remarks about what's going on at schools. Really, dear, don't you have anything better to do with your time than to post ranting and raving non-sensical tripe?
I have been told that one of the purposes of an eduction was to aid in tne broadening of narrow minds. By reading some of the drivel from the right it seems to have had scant effect thus far. Poor educational system or heads to thick?
Schedule of events Not In Our Town events are planned throughout the weekend.
Events are free and open to the public. Unless noted, they take place at First United Congregational Church, 310 N. 27th St.
Today
1:30 p.m. - Screening of "Not in Our Town Northern California," a film that looks at five communities during five years as they take action against bigotry. A panel discussion follows.
6:30 p.m. - Annual Martin Luther King Jr. Unity Dinner. The catered dinner is a fundraiser for the Black Heritage Foundation. A limited number of tickets are available; cost is $25, call 661-5961.
The evening includes entertainment and a presentation on "Holiday," a project producers Patrice O'Neill and Rhian Miller are working on about a South Carolina community's attempt to get local governments to recognize Martin Luther King Jr. Day.
Sunday
7 p.m. - Ecumenical service celebrating diversity and freedoms of the Bill of Rights. Representatives of several Billings religions will participate. Eran Thompson will present the King sermon, "The Drum Major Instinct."
Monday
9:45 a.m. - Gathering at Peaks to Plains Park on the MSU Billings main campus, 1500 University Drive, for national bell-ringing ceremony.
The Rev. Teresa Swift of Wayman Chapel will give an opening prayer at 9:50 a.m., and Michael Comes at Night will give an American Indian blessing; procession to the Student Union Building, where featured speaker Valerie Taliman will talk about recognition and rights of indigenous peoples. Thompson will present King's "I Have Been to the Mountaintop," speech which King gave April 3, 1968, the night before he was killed.
6 p.m. - Gather at the Yellowstone County Courthouse Lawn for a candlelight vigil and 6:30 p.m. march through downtown. Guest speaker is Tammy Schnitzer, an original Not In Our Town member and the Billings victim of hate crime.
7 p.m. - Annual Martin Luther King Jr. celebration at Lincoln Center, 415 N. 30th St., featuring diverse entertainment and O'Neill and Miller as keynote speakers.
Contact Us | Subscribe
Comment Display Options
